12 Weeks

So here I am.  Twelve weeks pregnant with twins.  Talk about a whirlwind of freaking emotions.  I think the coolest thing so far has been how much our Lord's name has been glorified through announcing the life of these two precious little ones.
We were simply blown away by the response of everyone on facebook, this blog, phone calls, texts, and neighbors running into our house as soon as we announced it.  And there seemed to be a common theme.  No words, tears, and praises to God.  How cool is that.
We have been told that they are identical twins because they are in the same sac with one placenta.  So I did what they tell you not to do and started googling.  I came across crazy statistics of how uncommon this is, and then scary statistics of what could possibly happen.
At ten weeks, they could not find a membrane separating them which led us to see a specialist a week later.  That was somewhat of a long week.  We knew the risks involved if they couldn't find a membrane.  We read the statistics of survival.  I've discovered that statistics mean nothing to me anymore.
So we prayed.
At eleven weeks they found the membrane.  They were identical in size, and their heart rates were 178 and 180.  They were absolutely perfect.  They are classified as identical twins, mono-di, meaning they have two sacs but one placenta.
As for me and how I am feeling, it really hasn't been too bad.  It feels a lot like my pregnancy with Tucker.  I feel nauseous but don't throw up.  Nathan refers to me as a bear in hibernation so I guess I might be sleeping a lot.
One hard part is feeling as if my grief and hormones have had a head on collision.  It's hard to control your crying when you actually have something to cry about.  My ability to stay poised and collected while in public has gone out the window.  I was a weeping mess at church today.  We sang "Jesus Paid It All" which is the song we sang at Tucker's funeral.  We also sang "10,000 Reasons" which gets me going too.  Give me a song, a message, or a verse about Heaven and I'm on the verge of jumping up and down with excitement while being moved to tears.
Thank you all, for continuing to love us.  Thank you for praying for us and these special little blessings.  I think about heaven a lot and words cannot explain my excitement for eternity.  To see my Savior, my little boy, my whole family to be reunited, and then to think about getting to spend everyday with all of you lovely people....it's just wonderful.