I have struggled to write this post. I feel like no words can quite articulate the depth of His goodness. So here I am trying.
We have known since July 20th that we are pregnant. I wasn't prepared for the emotion as I stared at the pink positive sign while sitting on my bathtub. I was thankful, I was scared, I was joyful, I was sad.
It's an unnatural feeling when you are celebrating the new life within you while still mourning the life that just left you.
We have asked God all along that if He wants us to be parents again, for it to be in His timing.
As we began to tell people, there was a lot of joy mixed with a lot of tears. I began to pour out my heart over this child praying every possible prayer over this precious life.
After early ultrasounds and blood work, all looked good.
I was on my way to meet Nathan for our 8 week appt. and I began praying out loud in the car. I told God that it's just still really hard. I told him that I don't even know what it would look like or take to be released from the pain and anguish that still resides in my heart, but please keep showing up for us. I asked the Lord to make His presence known.
Next thing I know, our doctor, Nathan, and I are crying as we all three are staring at 2 precious little heartbeats on the screen.
He showed up...again.
We are having identical twins.
I am in complete awe of His goodness and I can't seem to find the words to praise Him or even tell our story. So for now, I just want to celebrate them and what they represent. His faithfulness.