Wednesday, May 29, 2013

4 whole months

Maximus and Gideon turned 4 months old two days ago.  It amazes me to think back to 4 months ago when I was laying in my hospital bed while they were upstairs in the NICU.  I had no idea what their journey was going to be and what health concerns we were looking at.  I prayed fervently for them and needless to say, our God is good.
We went to their 4 month appointment a little early, but they were both weighing in at 13 lbs.  This put them around the 25th percentile for their actual age.  They have reached several of their milestones such as cooing, rolling over every once in awhile, kicking, and scooting around.
They still eat every 3 hours and have managed to sleep through the night a few times now.  I am so ready for this to be consistent.
They look so much alike that I actually managed to get them mixed up for an entire day.
We are finally getting out of the house now and I even figured out how to take them to Walmart.  I also figured out that I will not be making many Walmart trips with them if I can help it.
I have learned how to roll through stop signs and will most likely get a speeding ticket sometime soon due to them not wanting to stop or slow down in the car.
They are great and my days are absolutely consumed with them.  I have been in a such a "baby mode" that I almost took a jumbo pack of diapers to give to the bride at her bridal shower.  Thankfully Nathan caught this in time and reminded me that she was getting married, not having a baby.
So yes, these last 4 months have been absolute chaos but also so redeeming.
Sometimes I just start shaking my head in disbelief when I think of the timeline of this journey.  It makes me truly understand that the only one who could have written this story is God himself.
On February 28th 2012, I went to bed that night with a paralyzing pain, asking God to not let me wake up in the morning.  Exactly one year later, I brought home my twin boys from the hospital.
He really does know what He's doing.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


When I envision heaven, I think of all the joys the Lord gave us here on earth just magnified to whole new level.  One of those joys is children.
I want to live in a paradise where children are laughing, babies are cooing, little feet are pitter pattering, and little hands are playing.
It would only make sense that a perfect eternity would have sweet children in it.
Then I came to the realization that the only way for children to make up heaven is for them to leave this earth as children.
This part is appalling to us.  Nothing in this world is more painful than losing a child.
Jesus made it clear when He spent time on this earth how much he loved children.  He said himself that they will see the kingdom.
I have struggled so much with why Tucker was taken so abruptly from us.  I struggle when I hear of other parents going through the same thing.  I struggle when I hear of innocent little lives being taken by pure evil.  I struggle when I hear of these precious little ones being taken by natural disasters.
But I don't think these children were made for earth.  What is so special is that heaven gained what Jesus talked about loving so much.
Our little children were made to be heaven's children.
It doesn't make it easier on us, but there is surely something special about that.