Tuesday, January 1, 2013


2012 is a year that will always be imprinted in my heart.  It was the last year our little boy was alive, it was the year he was taken from this world.  It was the year I met my Savior on a deeper level than what I knew was possible.  It was the year I found out we were having our sweet twin boys.  It was a year of great memories, painful memories, and a year of redemption. 
There is an internal battle that I struggle with in wanting to fight time, but also rejoicing as it passes.  You want to leave the trauma of that night, but you don’t want to leave the nearness you feel with that loved one. 
I write this with a heavy heart in not only thinking of my loss in 2012, but so many others starting a new year without a loved one.  It is my prayer that God covers the trauma and reveals his truth. 
“See, I will create a new heaven and a new earth.  The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.”  Isaiah 65:17
I am thankful for a Savior that redeems the trauma and pain.  I am thankful that even though I still feel it at times, Tucker does not.  I am thankful that as I feel like I am leaving behind a piece of me as time continues on, in reality, it is a piece that is actually ahead of me.
Here’s to 2013.
Here’s to a God that is still on His throne.     


  1. Amy, it is great to hear your heart in those words! May God continue to bless you and Nathan during this special time as you reflect on the pain and anticipate his beautiful blessings! We love you! Jerry & Brenda

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I just lost my younger brother December 14th. The pain is deep, but I cannot fathom what it would be like to lose a child. It makes my heart smile knowing Austin is playing with your sweet Tucker up in heaven! Love and prayers to your family.

  3. I just wanted to let you know that I think of you very often. Your painful loss this year was actually a wake up call for me, that I needed to listen to God's demand of staying home with Asa. And now I feel so blessed to be at home with him. God has been working through you in 2012 in some very powerful ways; I am just one.