I woke up yesterday with plans in mind. Then I realized I couldn't move. The boys have gotten big and somewhere in the middle of carrying them in their carriers and bending to put them down in their cribs, I managed to pull a muscle in my back. It's been bothering me for days, but yesterday, the day I had made plans to celebrate Tucker's 3rd birthday, was the day it became excruciating.
So my plans of pancakes, decorating the Tucker tree for his old room, going to the cemetery to take pictures with the boys in the snow, all came to a crashing halt.
Instead, I was very still.
And then I realized this is exactly what the Lord wanted from me. He has this way of pointing out scripture to me when He is trying to tell me something. I sat quietly in my living room, staring out my window at the blanket of snow covering his creation, as I found my way to Isaiah.
"The Lord says, My thoughts are not like your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."
Sometimes I have the urge to work hard here on earth to make sure his life was not meaningless and that he is significant. But I'm learning...
He's with Jesus. That is significant enough.
I was hoping to start traditions yesterday that we can do on his birthday each year. But once again, God is showing me that my plans are not His plans. And instead, I spent a whole afternoon talking to the One who is actually with Tucker on his birthday.
Now that's a party.
Happy 3rd Birthday Tucker! Your new life with Jesus has impacted so many lives and I am so proud of you. All of your little friends have wished you happy birthday and are talking about you....Cooper even brought muffins this morning in the snow! You are missed and loved beyond words, but we are all so jealous that you are home. Can't wait to be home with you!